Posted in Chronic Pain, Re-blogs

Change is inevitable

 

 

A beautiful testimony of compassion for life, friends and her love for creativity. We could gain much from her wisdom and generous nature…and chuckle with her humour as well. Check out her website, a beautiful mind…a beautiful person, Cheryl-Lynn

Butterfly Sand

Jan 30 2014 004

There are a few things in life that we can be absolutely sure of:  death, taxes and change. Taxes are the price we pay to live in the Western World.  There will always be someone we pay for protection and taxes are the legal form of extortion.  Death is also something we have little control over.  We can live a healthy, positive life style and still die young.  On the other hand we can live life to the fullest, indulging in all kinds of hedonistic behaviors.  Most people find a combination of the two to be optimal.  Finally there is change. Times change, people change.  Wouldn’t it be nice if some things could stay exactly the same.

MS is a disease of change.  Honestly, no two days are exactly the same.  It seems that I can have a really great couple of days and then everything goes wrong. My legs…

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Posted in Bullying

Cyberbullying

young teen thinking of problems SILOUETTECyberbullying

Bullying is certainly most youths’ nightmares at some point in their lives. Usually the bullying stops when you are in the privacy of your home. The problem with Cyberbullying is that it NEVER turns off…EVER!

Cyberbullying is repeated aggression using electronic devices such as computers, cell phones and tablets. I was checking on Sick Kids’ website in Toronto and was shocked to see these stats. This article was dated 2011 so it has mostly likely increased since then!

These are stats for 8 to 11 year olds {I still cannot believe this…shocking!}
– 18% use social networking sites such as Facebook despite meeting age requirements!
– 58% communicate through internet or cell phone and 31% have their own cell phone!
– 28% of those who own a phone send and receive texts and 21% have internet on their phone
– By age 11, children text an average of 80 minutes a day!

Cyberbullying is upsetting because it is so invasive filtering in the homes of youths and young adults.
50% of victims do not even know who their aggressors are. Lots of youths remain silent for fear of having their personal electronics removed!

Parental monitoring does not help
Children may be too savvy for parents because monitoring apparently shows little results according to Burr J. Correlates of electronic aggression in elementary school students. Montreal 2011
Open communication is key to protect against cyberbullying. So talk about it! Not just one sit down discussion about it but ongoing communication…open dialogues!

Cyberbullying is powerful because the person bullying is able to hide behind a monitor, smart phone or tablet and most times he/she can get away with it. Things get blown out of proportion pretty quickly too. We call that viral…you know when you see a comment along with a photo about someone on Facebook for example and someone clicks “like”…worse yet, others “share” that status and it has gone viral within minutes!

Bystanders/witnesses ARE guilty too! If you clicked “like” or “share” on an insulting comment on someone’s Facebook page, you are saying you agree with the “bully”. Yep, just as guilty.
You get an email with a compromising photo of a classmate. Your hand goes to your gaping mouth and seconds later you have forwarded to 10 of your buddies. You have just implicated yourself as being connected with this “bully”.

You get a text message of a friend who is at a party and took a few shots of peers in embarrassing positions that make them look worse than what really was going on at that party. DON’T you dare press FORWARD…ah, geez, you did…too late…you are now part of a team of “bullies” who have made the life of a young girl miserable…so much so that she is suffering depression and has suicidal thoughts. Now you hear about this girl has quit school or moved to another town and you think to yourself, “Gee, we were just clowning around.!” Oh, yeah? Think again!

What can adults do to help? Well, for starters, parents may give their children some guidelines on etiquette; consequences of spreading rumours is 1,000,000,000 times worse than word of mouth. Teachers may include in their language arts classes, etiquette on the internet {gee that rhymes!}
It would be great if some of these tips were offered in an interactive way and made to have some fun. If youths interact with new information, chances are they will retain.

There are laws now regarding to Cyber bullying and don’t kid yourself, the police CAN trace who is the bully…so watch out! Oh, and no need to say it is a free world and you have freedom of speech. Once you have denigrated, shamed, humiliated and hurt another person and their reputation…all that goes out the window and in the huge garbage bin. GET IT!?? Sorry if I seem a bit snarky. I hear too often from youths who suffer at the hands of those “cruel” digits clicking on their cell phones, tablet or computers way too many times in any given week…really!

It breaks my heart and frustrates me to no end to get a phone call from a youth that is devastated by some kid who decided it would be cool and fun to put up a web page and have their peers comment on one that youth. How cruel is that? How can that be fun? I don’t care if you say, “I didn’t know it would go that far.” IT DID go too far!

The media talks about way tragic losses through suicides…youths have taken their lives due to the persecution of cyberbullying. I spoke with a mom in June whose daughter did take her life due to bullying. It broke my heart. I feel so powerless when a youth calls…I wish I could do more. When they hang up, I worry that kid may not pull through. I cannot even fathom how a parent must feel having to experience such a tragic loss. Can you?

The media is covering this topic more and more lately. Is it because they care? Well, let’s be frank now, tragedy sells papers. That sickens me, yes, but good reporters, I believe, have a moral responsibility to inform the public…we do need to be aware of the dangers of this to prevent it from happening over and over. More importantly as parents and responsible adults don’t we want to protect our children?

Social networks do have means to help curb or even stop cyberbullying from propagating. Many youths who say they keep seeing negative comments on their statuses, I usually tell them to report! It is getting even easier now I noticed on Facebook this week, you can obviously “unfriend” a person by going on their FB page, click “message” at the top right hand side and a menu drops down and click “unfriend” BUT, on this same menu, just above “unfriend” is “Report/block” and THAT is where you can so easily report the abuse. Twitter, Tumblr and so many others are similar…so parents, who are aware your children are on these sites, perhaps before they get on, it would be great to navigate the sites with your child to see what the safety precautions are.

There is so much I could talk about but I’ll end here and list a few articles/sites you can get more information.

Oh, by the way, I was interviewed last with by the Montreal Gazette on Cyberbullying so I’ll add that as a resource too…what the heck {Wink}

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, http://Stigmahurtseveryone.info, August 30, 2013

Related Articles:

About Kids Health – Sick Kids
 Kids Help Phone/Cyberbullying
Child Porn Teens Arrested
Montreal Gazette – Searching for an effective way to fight bullying

Posted in Bullying

A photo that went viral

bistictblog.com
bistictblog.com

A photo that went viral by Cheryl-Lynn

Hey! Why d’you take that pic last night?
Man, you sure didn’t have a right
to use your phone and take that shot!
Man, you’d better hide your face
behind your screen, to not get caught.
You made her look like a disgrace
why d’ya take that shot last night?
it looks like D… was high as a kite
we all know she’s a good girl alright
she never did drugs and no alcohol
so why make her look like a doped up doll?
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS EVEN CARE?
the news is out and spreading like wild fire
it’s feeling worse than a house on fire
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS EVEN CARE?

© Cheryl-Lynn, resubmited November 14, 2013

National Bullying Week commences November 18th to 23rd, 2013

Posted in Bullying, Reflections, Stigma Talks

Same Love

Human rights, cultural diversity
ending all discriminations.
Understanding it’s not a choice
it’s natural sexual attraction
Mutual respect, the right to feel safe
anywhere and everywhere,
should not just be a person’s dream but right,
(Y)our rights to civil liberties.
Each child and youth and teens especially
and every man and woman too
you’d think should expect nothing less
anywhere, everywhere…same rights, same liberties…Same Love!

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, Stop the Stigma, August 27, 2013

MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWISSAME LOVE feat. MARY LAMBERT (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

  

Published on 12 Feb 2013

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay
‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight
I told my mom tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k tripping,”
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing god, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And god loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
I can’t change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ’em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ’round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
I can’t change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

Posted in Mental Health, video

Body Love

Body image, fitting in…pressure from peers, media…what else? Is it not enough to be a teen and live through the angst, the hormones flaring like a roller coaster?  Exciting as it can be, being a teen, the pressures are enormous!
I have written about Eating disorders, Weighing in  and influences of ads and the media; there are always pressures to fit in as well as Self-Injury which is so misunderstood. Here is a video I want to share that Mary Lambert seems to sum it up so beautifully.

You are more than your body image, you are beautiful inside and out. Cliché as that may sound, try to adhere to these principals, you  will be rising to better places…emotionally, physically and psychologically.

Hope you enjoy the video as much as I did…

Mary Lambert – Body Love

Related articles:
Misunderstanding Self Injury 
Make the ads Skinnier, Why don`t you! 
Eating Disorder is a Mental Health Condition 
Who`s Weighing In 

Posted in Stigma Talks

Reach out

reach out
when all seems bleak stigma-and-suffering8
when times you seek
a listening
compassionate ear
reach out
you’ll be surprised
life’s better here
than you realized
reach out
you’ll see
you’ll feel
you’ll know
when you’ve reached
out to that caring soul.
reach out.

© Cheryl-Lynn @Stigma Hurts Everyone, September 22, 2013

Posted in Did you know?, Stigma Talks

Light a candle tonight 8:00 PM – World Suicide Prevention Day – September 10th

On my way to work today, I was thinking of the many things I want to share related to mental health, parenting,  youths, school life and I asked myself, «Why not add a post weekly or more often, and discuss one issue more in depth? »  Today, I am simply posting a very important message and reminder for those who already are familiar with World Suicide Prevention Day and the candle vigil.  It`s coming up so quickly and it is an important message.

Mental illness is something we are finally talking more and more about and it`s about time!  The main reason, of course, is to allow “society” (youths, all adults as well as professionals) to hear the message loud and clear that mental health is as important as physical health.  That does not sound much like a complex theory by the way, does it?  But it is still perceived so differently. {sigh}

I suppose the media is helping even though their main goal may be to sell more newspapers, increase viewers or listeners but still, admittedly, it helps A LOT!    Suicide is reported too often for me to feel comfortable, however.  It makes me feel we have failed as a society, as professionals in the helping field…but that is an emotional reaction and not a rational afterthought.

stjosephpulse.com
stjosephpulse.com

On Tuesday, September 10th it is World Suicide Prevention Day.  It is an international candle ceremony that will be taking place all over the world, in homes and on line.  For some it will be their way of remembering a loved one and friends who are survivors of suicide.

I am including a newsletter  that was posted on Facebook on the page of Kids Help Phone. A very important message!

Kids Help Phone shared  the following link with this newsletter on suicide and youths.  Kindly read further.  There are important tips for adults, professionals and mostly parents and friends of someone you may think has suicidal ideations.

What keeps youth from talking about suicide? 

In Focus – September 2013 – Kids Help Phone 

LonelyHere are some links you may find helpful. 

Allow me to share a brief story on the importance of sharing resources:

A young boy, teen, called thinking seriously of suicide.  He had been depressed for quite some time and he had a plan. After talking for quite some time,  he began feeling there just “may” be hope. At the end of the call, I asked him how he heard about the phone service.  “Oh, a buddy of mine slipped a tab from a Smarties box in my pocket without my knowing.  I just happened to find it tonight.”  (Youth line is printed on most Nestlé products).  So if you have a helpful link or resource to share with a friend, DO IT, you just never know how important that action could be…may even save a life and in the very least, offer hope. Blessings.

Important links:

Canadian Association of Mental Health (CAMH)
Take 5 To Save Lives 
Suicide Prevention Australia 
Suicide Prevention in Canada 
CDC (Center for Disease and Control) 
Suicide Prevention London UK

International Association of Suicide Prevention IASP

Related Article: A voice that pulled her back from the brink (The Hindu)

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, September 6, 2013

Posted in Did you know?

Make the ads skinnier why don’t ya?!!

This was an ad on Facebook a while ago…you know on the right hand side to catch your attention?  They did a survey, (Facebook did) and mostly women click on those pesky and annoying ads.  Well, to see this photo to attract mostly women, is an insult. Perhaps it was to attract the sensitive type, or maybe it was to shock the healthy type who thrives on a healthy body,  not the size and shape it should be, or maybe just maybe it was to attract a vulnerable person whose self depends only on what media portrays and a fragile person perhaps, whose body mass equates to her self-worth or another person who never accepts the body he/she has been graced with.

sick society we live in with diets that kill the body and mostly the mind

Well, the photo angered ME because I could see how it would attract any vulnerable person and the name Dr. …. Well, it seems to endorse the article because one would think a medical professional “knows best”. You would think…(And yes, I know the doctor had nothing to do with this particular image….personally). But it’s THERE right out in the Facebook public!!  So pardon me for taking a few moments to rant at my leisure.

I don’t care what the article is about!  I don’t give a care why the advertisers did it…what sickens me is to see such an image to shock, hurt, attract, tease, tempt or scare anyone into reading the darn article.

Keep holding on if you are battling with an eating disorder, if you are in treatment, if you are in recovery…if you have friends or family struggling with this…tell them…to remember to keep holding on.

I’m done now.  Rant terminated…for now.  CL

P.S. There ARE lots of good things on social networks, here is something I liked and saw on No BODY is Perfect.   https://www.facebook.com/StrongIsPretty

check this out 

 

Posted in Mental Health, Stigma Talks, video

Believe! you ARE beautiful

How many times do we misjudge ourselves, do not describe ourselves fully, correctly?  Do we actually use our own description or those words from others growing up…from friends who were not real friends…Watch this by clicking on the link below.  It is heartwarming and if you are like me, you will shed a tear or two…so get the tissue ready too.  But today, on this lovely sunny day, this video is about happy tears…those are sweet tasting:)  Enjoy…