Posted in Stigma Talks

My rant on the “R” word, yet again…

I suppose when you have a specific pet peeve, you just have to elaborate on why it “peeves” you…why it grates at you and why it is totally NOT okay to say certain things.

And, yes, I have blogged about this before but it seems only the converted are reading my blog, so maybe I shall try to share this a bit more on Facebook, Twitter and Google+…I wish I could send direct emails sometimes or  just slap some folks silly in the face…yep, you heard me! In the face…because behind the head can be a good visual but not okay to do literally, at any time…we never fool around with hitting a person’s noggin…no way.

So what is my pet peeve I wish to share today, you ask? The R word and in French that would be the M word.  I know I am preaching mostly to the converted but, in case I manage to catch the attention of a few peeps on Facebook, Twitter or Google+, well, I am referring to when you say “Ah, don’t be such a Retard” or “Aye, fais pas ta Mongol!”   Can you believe hearing these remarks on school grounds?  Yeah, probably by several youths.  Can you believe hearing this in some bars, pubs, terraces or  home parties and such? Yes, unfortunately, you probably would!    They are still NOT okay BUT  when I hear them uttered by professionals in the medical or mental health field, I am fuming…you got that!  Do you see the steam coming out of your computer yet?! It makes me want to swear, throw a tantrum, a literal meltdown, kick someone in the butt and slap them silly…and that is STILL not enough!

Some may be feeling the shoe may not quite fit them…here are a few things to help jog your memory and to sit with these thoughts for a little while… sharing this blog on social networks will help,perhaps…  just to make sure you ALL feel included!!  I do not discriminate when bitching about ignorance…we are  so plenty and  many more to go around STILL.

Social network comment: don’t be such a retard!

French equivalence: fais dont pas ta mongol!

It is not funny, it is humiliating hearing such remarks from adults and especially from professionals. So this is my rant once again…and when you, to whom the shoe fits just nice and snug, Puleeze, do not tell me, “it’s just a joke among friends. I don’t think this way.”  Well, how are your friends family and people within ear shot going to know the difference what is Okay and what is inappropriate? It is totally hurtful and very very demeaning?

Huh?  How are you going to be able to explain to the kid who snickered sitting next to you on a park bench or in a restaurant?

Huh?  How is the STIGMA going to STOP if we still hear comments that are demeaning from professionals and adults?  Just explain that to me…because I guess I am just not savvy enough to understand YOUR way of thinking…The End {for now}


A little bit about moi: I am a mom, a nana, a sister, a woman, a friend, a human being…a youth counsellor, Family Life Educator. I have been working in the helping profession for over 25 years and volunteered in various capacities from youths to seniors. Tournesol is my nom de plume for haiku and other Japanese form poetry here at Tournesoldansunjardin I hope you enjoy reading through my daily waka. I also have another blog "Stop the Stigma" where I may stand on my soapbox now and then and hope it will become a place to drop in and share or comment on issues important to you. In that vein this could be a great way to learn from each other. Namaste!

5 thoughts on “My rant on the “R” word, yet again…

  1. What I hate is the fact that as a child we used to use that R word on the playground all the time. We didn’t mean it in a mean way, as we usually laughed about it right afterwards. But, the point is, we have to grow up. Whereas we need to keep our minds open for love of all things, seeing the world as a child, and for creativity means; we also need to grow up and realize many of the things we did and said are not appropriate any longer. We can not go around pinch each other, tickling our friends at work (at most of the time), talking back to the teacher (or boss), and expecting only a grounding or slap on the wrist for bad behavior. We are adults, we must conduct ourselves accordingly. I know, I personally, feel bad when I call my animals stupid or something like that, which doesn’t happen most of the time. I just cry martyr most of the time while they don’t listen to me at all. Although I know they swear about me, I have heard it!!! We can still have imagination and love of things new, but we also have to behave as if we are on a stage for children: How would we want them to see us? Hear us?


    1. Yes, once we do know it’s not okay…then it’s time to catch ourself and change. What is sad is how we are hurting people who may be afflicted with a learning difference but we are also huring their friends and family A LOT. Thank you for your comments. CL


  2. my wife and I have had several “run-ins” over her use of the word, and other derogatory actions/poor impressions. She is slowly learning, but still catches herself qualifying remarks to friends and family with “SJ will be mad but…”
    Sor several years I worked with individuals diagnosed as MR, and I take great offense to any slander towards them (or anyone else, you should see me spaz out about my wife’s derogatory impressions of Asian languages)… I wish it made more of an impact, but apparently, adults and professionals also get stuck in their ways… Rant away! I hope someone hears you.


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