The approaching holidays can be a difficult time for many and even moreso for anyone suffering from a mental illness. Don’t let social stigma prevent you from getting the help you deserve.
Maybe you feel alone? Maybe you feel worthless? Maybe you think you waste everyone’s time with your problems/feelings. Maybe just breathing fuels your feelings of despair and the only thing you can manage is sleep.
Congrats…
You probably won the depression lottery. It is estimated nearly 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression according to the WHO.
Social stigma is one of the biggest factors preventing effective care.
Do the whole world a favor and be proactive with those you love. Let them know they are NOT alone.
Depression doesn’t respect the holidays. It is the Grinch. It is the Scrooge. It is the devil in a red Santa suit come to steal all your beautifully wrapped silver linings.
It is tragic when depression wraps a person so tight with layers and layers of prickly wool. A person falls victim to that predator who distorts their lens and forges their vision seeing no way out.
lost in the darkness
never sees the right bend
veiled from the light
lost in the darkness
never thought there was help
suffering alone
never seeing the right bend
turned to the left
that cul-de-sac
veiled from the light
obscurity snickers
`til that last breath
Suicide is a tragedy that affects the family, friends and the community in so many ways. It takes time to heal and everyone heals in their own way, in their own time…but never EVER “gets over the loss”. People learn to move forward despite the loss, the emptiness.
At first there can be a celebration for having found the strength and courage to get out of bed; others it’s to put one foot in one shoe on at a time and shuffle into another room. There is no right or wrong way. There is no such thing as “they are stuck in the past”. Some do not acknowledge the grief until years later, because it is too painful to make sense of such a tragedy. It is eventually walking, shuffling or limping forward with the memory imprinted on your heart that is a success. Prints on a heart are made with indelible ink…
Sometimes it’s the guilt that tears one apart for the longest time…guilt, an emotion with sharp teeth. Other times it’s the anger that consumes one…anger sucks the energy like a vacuum. The sadness, the pain, the hurt can be felt differently by any one person…it can burn. It can feel like your gut was cut out, a limb torn off, a Mack Truck parked on your chest…and the list goes on. Why? Because it’s different for each person. There is no ONE size fits all.
There is no perfect “How To” instruction manual but there are many places that offer support. Sometimes it’s trying to find the right fit for a person. It can be reading stories of people who have experienced the same type of loss and tragedy. Other times it is seeing a grief counsellor or a family doctor. Some have found going to a bereavement group helpful. Others have a supportive network of friends “who DO get it”. These are only some ideas and whatever has worked for one person may be different for another person.
Hopefully more people will learn through the experience of friends and family who have lost someone through suicide…so we can still keep talking about it and keep it out of the closet.
Here is a song that inspired me to write this little piece tonight.
I must have been sleeping
I must have been drinking
I haven’t been dreaming about you for years
There was a sharp turn and a sunburn
I was too cool for high school that year
It must have been New Years
No one invited you
You took things too far
But I missed you
And your antics
You were lonesome
And blue eyed
And so special to us
You should have taken a long break
Instead of a long drop from a high place
Ten years I never spoke your name
Now it feels good to say it
You’re my friend again
He said he forgave you
I said I hated you
He was the bigger man
I was sixteen
All the innocence
It took for
You to finally make your year book
That year
That year
You could have taken some time away
Instead of a long drop
Instead of a leap of faith
Ten years I never spoke your name
Now it feels good to say that
You’re my friend again
You’re my friend again
I was angry
I was a Baptist
I was a daughter
was wrong
Thanks to Michy for correcting these lyrics.
Writer(s): Timothy Jay Hanseroth, Brandi M. Carlile, Phillip John Hanseroth
Copyright: Southern Oracle Music LLC
Suicide is one of the most stigmatized acts, yet those who die by suicide are those who needed our assistance the most. This post will debunk some of the common myths about suicide, based on the research of Thomas Joiner in his book Myths About Suicide.
Popular myths are that people who commit suicide are cowardly, selfish, or impulsive; but in fact, Joiner has demonstrated just the opposite. People who are most at risk of dying by suicide are actually less fearful (hence the opposite of cowardly), unselfish in their perceptions, rational in their preparation, and conscious in their decision.
Those who die by suicide are not cowardly. In fact, those who have completed suicide are those who are least fearful since they were able to overcome the brain’s survival mechanism based in the amygdala. The desire to commit suicide, as previously talked about, is fundamentally produced…
I was watching a news video from California yesterday detailing how Robin Williams took his life. The more graphic the person got, the more my mouth opened in shock! Why must anyone hear these details? I don’t think I have ever heard news reported in such an intrusive and detailed way here at home, but then again, I try to stay away from the news.
I was looking for lists of movies and comedy shows to watch and be reminding of Robin Williams’ LIFE and not how he ended it.
The WORLD is WATCHING and listening to these details, young and old, vulnerable people in excruciating pain are watching too. I find this terribly inappropriate and extremely invasive on his life. I can’t even imagine how close friends and family feel about this. Why make a circus out of this tragedy?
Do you know how close thousands of people come “this” to succeeding in taking their lives? I only speak to a handful of people compared to the world that suffers from various degrees of mental illness. I hear youths give me details and I weep at the image of this at the same time am thankful an angel led him or her to phone our service.
In the old days, we did not say if a person had taken their life and I had mixed feelings about that. Of course it is no one’s business who did not know a person personally, but for family at least, that truth needs to be dealt with, the grief, the guilt and agony of knowing how much their loved one was suffering. So I thought, “Well, we do need to talk about it. It does happen. But WHY the details?”
I don’t get the purpose if not only for the media to sensationalize AGAIN and profit from this tragedy. Shame on YOU!
I was sad two days ago driving home hearing of this tragic death; I searched the net for movies and sitcoms and fired up my Netflix to watch a few clips and laughed. It felt good for I don’t think he would have wanted the world to remember how he ended his life but more HOW HE LIVED IT and what he gave to the world.
I cringe thinking the negative impact the media is giving to those who suffer day after day…when that thought lingers for many ALWAYS at the back of their minds. And all I can say is please don’t give in to that gnawing thought…as a youth, you can reach out in Canada to Kids Help Phone 1 800 668 6868,(24 hours, anonymous service) which also offers Live Chat Thursday to Sunday from 18:00 to midnight. For adults there are many resources but since this blog reaches all over the world, I am not going to add any except for 911. If anyone wants to add, feel free.
I have always called the youths who call here my heroes for they have the strength to reach out for help and I can only imagine how difficult that must be. The true heroes all over the world are those who fight their battle of mental illness that drive them to such darkness we cannot comprehend and still manage to get through yet, another day…many times it is one hour at a time. They are true heroes.
February 2 to 8th is national suicide month here in Quebec. Then I read somewhere else that it is also the month of love yourself. How odd to have both the same month and yet, is it that odd? If we loved our self enough, would we be so filled with despair? I am not minimizing depression or any other mental health condition but still…You sort of wonder, eh? Love yourself.
I have been hearing more and more youths who talk about how they don’t like themselves…how they seem to be their worst enemy. The difference with youths today, they are doing something about it. Yes, some are actually reaching out.
Do you remember when YOU were a teen if you thought of asking for support because you t yourself down, because you didn’t like your voice, your hips, your height, your complexion? Truly, now! No cheating! How many thought that was actually important to your own wellbeing?
Now if you are as old as I am, raised in the 1960 and 1970’s self-esteem was not even a word, was it? It was not until 1976 that so many experts wrote about this like Nathaniel Brandon, Virginia Satir and Wayne Dyer. Of course there are many other authors but those are the few that put a dent into self-improvement…starting to look at the self…within, that darn inner child…That may sound like a cliché but frankly, I still feel it is relevant. Don’t you?
So if you were raised in the 1980’s chances are your parents focused a lot more on phrases like “inner child” and “self-esteem”. After that, honestly, so many other authors regurgitated the original writers of the mid 1970’s. Yes, I am that old!
Despair became her friend
sadness wrapped her like a blanket
Drinking, harming her new trend;
death seemed like her only target,
woke up mornings and saw grey
looked outside and just saw clouds
Praying, hoping was her way
now the pain just screamed too loud.
had no clue that there was hope
there are people who assist
teaching different ways to cope
seeing lifelines on a list
she decides, give one more try
calledKids Help Phone late one night
realized she needn’t die
Gave life a chance, seeing the light.
Sure am glad she called that night.
Don’t give up when times are bleak
Talk to someone who you trust
if you’re scared, then just call us
1-800-668-
6868, it’s not too late
we’re always open, day and night
we never close…so call, alright?
On January 28, let’s talk. Bell will donate 5¢ more to mental health initiatives for every:
-Text message sent* – Mobile and long distance call made* – Tweet using #BellLetsTalk – Facebook share of our Bell Let’s Talk image
*By a Bell or Bell Aliant customer only
So even if you are with a different phone provider the tweets and facebook shares will donate 5 cents…so share, share, share and let’s talk about mental health to remove the stigma so more people, youths and adults will get help. There is treatment, there is recovery and there is always help.
Seems we prefer victims once they are dead.
Easier to sit back than take up a cause,
Silently watching we aide and abed,
Laughing with bullies we sharpen their claws!
So used to cruelty it gives us no pause,
Meek are the victims and carefully bred
We love martyrs I think this because,
Seems we prefer victims once they are dead.
Maybe it’s fear we’ve grown in our head.
We won’t defend victims from bully outlaws.
Better be quiet you see we’re well-bred.
Easier to sit back than take up a cause.
A victim the tough guy chews in his maws.
The silly chicken or the gross dead-head,
Ridiculing, hurting seeking guffaws…
Silently watching we aide and abed.
He’s funny baiting the nerdy egghead,
Such a great show, he deserves your hurrahs!
Tomorrow maybe you’ll be the knucklehead…
Laughing with bullies we sharpen their claws!
Release me past morning breath and across divides,
Release me where struggle, spin and a sell subsides.
Release me among the smog, cleansing souls of black,
Release me to whitewashed rooms to dispel attack.
Release me before bread, I’ll bring you to your knees,
Release me for eyes wetter than reverent, endless seas.
Release me to a friend and let me be theirs to be,
Release me into the skin of a long held enemy.
Release me like a yellow balloon into moody skies,
Release me so cruelty from ill word and action dies.
Release me in adults for inner children do laugh loud,
Release me and keep me not in a deathly shroud.
Release me upon this world like seeds angels sow,
Release me now, long before the final horn will blow.
All the channels 
Stop the Stigma 