Posted in Did you know?, Mental Health, Stigma Talks

Hope and recovery with BPD


Hope by Hengie at Deviantart

Borderline Personality Disorder does not have to be a life sentence! So many people are misinformed especially professionals and I feel it is a disservice to persons afflicted with this disorder including their family and friends to think there is no hope. There is! It is challenging finding the right treatment let alone even finding the medical, psychiatric and psychological professional who is up to date with the most recent information and wants to work with a person with BPD.

I am not talking about studies in professional journals and NOT at all talking about books…some are great reads and informative but the danger in many cases is that the reader may not realize that as they reading the “perspective” of a few people that may or may not be valid…it is often outdated. That’s right no longer the “whole story”, there are missing pieces.

I have been working on a youth crisis line for fifteen years, have volunteered in various capacities in mental health  and most recently in 2013 I followed an educational training for caregivers at AmiQuebec. The clinical psychologist giving the training had over seven years experience working with persons troubled with BPD and over fifteen years as a clinical psychologist;  she was the first professional I have ever heard speak in such a positive and helpful way. I hear many professionals as well as any other person making blanket statements like, “Oh, she/he will never get better…may improve a bit but never get better.” Many doctors are exhausted treating patients with BPD and too often over medicate them which may exasperate their condition furthermore.

Dangers of over-medicating a “personality disorder “ that is NOT a brain chemical imbalance such as bi-Polar disorder or Depression for example can all too often make things worse and more difficult for a therapist to find the proper treatment. I understand that some medications are prescribed for the symptoms and yet it would probably be more effective treatment done in a multidisciplinary form with psychiatric, psychological and behavioral approaches…everyone working together to help this person.


The article I am referring to discusses the success rate at over 70% will recover completely. To me, when you say no one with BPD will recover is like saying a child with a short temper will never become a emotionally stable adult.

Dr. Butterworth was able to give caregivers tools to help their loved ones, create boundaries and help their relative learn to manage their condition on their own eventually. What astounded me was hearing that it is not always necessary to dig deep to find out WHY a person behaves like this…not all persons with BPD have come from families lacking attention, love or have experienced trauma. Really!! What I learned in this training was the “perception” of a young baby, young child and older youth can be unconsciously be interpreted one way and it may not have been the “real” or “whole” story.

Imagine a young toddler is sleeping in her crib and suddenly the family cat jumps in the crib.

Scenario I:  The parent rushes in to the room shouting at the cat and shoos it away, waking up the child who is screaming from sheer fright.

Scenario II:  The parent tiptoes gingerly into the room and takes cat in his/her arms and walks out of the bedroom of a “still” sleeping toddler.

I found that very interesting and encouraging;  yes, I truly believed it for I know of persons personally who were raised with love but how the person’s view on his past was not what most family members remember being that way.  We  know now, in fact, when siblings are discussing their family past how different or slightly different each interpreted their past.


I also saw the majority of persons in attendance were caring caregivers who would come in the worst winter weather, slippery roads many couples, siblings, grandchildren…It is not a surprise to see this since mental illness affects everyone.

Learning more about true facts and how to help someone with Borderline Personality Disorder has allowed me to be more helpful to persons reaching out to our service.
I encourage you to read some of the articles below especially this one as a start here and you will want to read more.


© Cheryl-Lynn 2015/01/20

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder 

Increasing Hope in the Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder 

Various treatments

Self-Harm and Sucide

Resources: AmiQuebec – Montreal – Support for English population, for caregivers in Quebec.

Canadian Mental Health Ass. – What is Borderline Personality Disorder (a must read to remove the stigma on mental health and BPD)




A little bit about moi: I am a mom, a nana, a sister, a woman, a friend, a human being…a youth counsellor, Family Life Educator. I have been working in the helping profession for over 25 years and volunteered in various capacities from youths to seniors. Tournesol is my nom de plume for haiku and other Japanese form poetry here at Tournesoldansunjardin I hope you enjoy reading through my daily waka. I also have another blog "Stop the Stigma" where I may stand on my soapbox now and then and hope it will become a place to drop in and share or comment on issues important to you. In that vein this could be a great way to learn from each other. Namaste!

17 thoughts on “Hope and recovery with BPD

  1. Thanks for this. You’ve inspired me to write on the subject. I used to have BPD (still have traits obviously), but now I’m much much better, don’t engage in harmful behaviour, feel much better in myself and am now a therapist. There is always hope.


  2. Thank you for this excellent post. There is a severe shortage of positive, accurate information about what is possible for people labeled “borderline” when they do get effective help. On my blog I also write about how it is quite possible to recover fully from what is called Borderline Personality Disorder, given hard work, time, and effective help. Thank you again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, my thank you so much for your kind words. I do feel more correct information needs to get out there as it offers hope. I look forward to visiting your blog too! 🙂


  3. I feel powerful because of some of these so-called symptoms (I believe I am exactly how I am supposed to be). When I experienced deep depressions I couldn’t do anything. The anger I feel now drives me to stand up for myself and stand up for others as well.


    1. That is wonderful the read and especially that you are very self-aware. Years ago I remember telling my supervisor that I wish I were more patient…ever since I was very young I had always been criticized and felt shame. She said my impatience probably pushed me to get many great things done in my life and persevere and she was so right.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you Michael for sending and also Cheryl-Lynn for writing. My daughter 28 was diagnosed almost 2 years ago, attended a DBT clinic, but now due to financials restraints has to stop, this and I also feel the text book therapist they assigned her wasn’t helping. She is unemployed, does not live with me and recently commenced Lexapro, which I realise is not the answer, nor a cure but it has helped her ‘meltdowns’ considerably.

    I am wanting to find a book of skill sets she can read and hopefully use (mindfulness) etc that isn’t overly spiritual as she isn’t that type of person. I shall look at the other articles, thank you for your information. I have so many questions and life as we know is a roller coaster. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Email me ( and I will try to find resources in your location as well…the psychologist who did the training is originally from England. Mindfullness is not religious actually and I use parts of it even on the phone with youths sometimes. I read a post recently saying there was no hope for BPD and that got me on my soap box today. My thoughts are with you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is excellent Cheryl-Lynn. I have a friend who has a daughter with BPD and I have sent her the link to this post.
    I am sure she will find it useful as I know she has days where it does get very difficult.


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