Posted in Bullying, Stigma Talks

A conversation about anger

Originally written in January 2014. When I saw someone reblog this today, I thought to myself, “Hmm,  did I write this?” I sure did and often I would suprise myself writing on Sreejit’s prompts at The Seekers Dungeon.  Well I decided to repost this here because school is starting up REAL soon and it does touch thoughts on Bullying.  Clr 2014/08/23

 

Brimo anger is an aspect of Ares  rage
Brimo anger is an aspect of Ares rage

A conversation about Anger with Mini-Me (MM)

Me: What do you think is meant by Anger?
Mini Me: It is what it is, right?

Me: but what might that be?
Mini Me: It’s an emotion,
a deep feeling.

Me: but is it sometimes a ruse?
some kind of manipulation?
like the result of a short fuse.
Mini Me: Well (sigh) then it might
have become sort of a weapon; alright.

Me: Like … of mass destruction, you say?!
MM: heh, heh! good one, I like that analogy.
I suppose it can destroy the spirit in a family,
say…if it is to keep everyone in tow.
That type of anger can stem from addiction
among other things, it can be a projection
of what hurts inside and it’s pointed to others.

Me: Oh, oh! like when things erupt in a row
and the yelling scares everyone into silence?
MM: That would certainly stimulate compliance!

Me: But that gives a negative slant to that emotion,
I’m not liking “anger” at all now…too much commotion.
MM: It can also be the only way to make change…reform.

Me: You mean by bullying folks to conform?
MM: Well, that too but I meant to stand up for a principle,
like, to stand up for what you believe and the rights of people.

Me: Fight for a right? huh?
MM: (Sigh) let me explain
in words that are plain:
Say, someone is a bit of a bully and will harass
and a bystander may blow up and say
Hey stop being such a hardass!!

Me: Oh dear! that would attract a fight
and who knows what else that might
erupt all in the name of having a “right”…

MM: You are missing the point again (sigh!)
anger is sometimes necessary to gain
attention and so much more when you
should be respected, speak of what is true.

Me: Yes, I think I understand this; it would
mean to use a controlled anger
that serves a purpose for the greater good.
MM: Yes, exactly. Anger is sometimes a need
to ward off the devious, exploiters and greed.

Me: But what about anger that stems from rage
that performs in a deranged, frightful stage?
I find that very scary…for the person hearing rage
and the person raging feels out of control too.
MM: that is an anger that needs to be addressed,
help from a counsellor or trusted wise friend
and counselling can be a way to contend…
search from where this fury stems.

Me: Kind of like bottled up resentment?
MM: That may be one plausible cause.

Me: And what about the person who is witness?
MM: they require an apology and explanation
of the outburst and pledge it will stop
or at least attempt to control and ration
such frenzied outburst.

Me: I felt much rage and anger when my father died.
I found that quite confusing, why rage mingled with grief?
MM: Anger is part of mourning and, a process that will subside
over time. It matters not to whom the anger is projected,
know that it is part of the grief process, causing healthy relief.

Me: Wow! I did not know that, the things I learn from you Mini-Mi!
MM: So pleased to oblige…there is so much more, you don’t know?

Me: More? You mean other reasons why one gets angry?
MM: it can be a symptom of a greater picture, such as mental health.

Me: Oh, no, not that again…something to excuse this dark comportment.
I don’t buy too much into that excuse, sorry MM but that’s just a copout.

MM: It is, on the one hand but it can be a symptom of mental illness
and there is help, there is hope, there is even treatment.
Me: but treatment can be so long and no one wants to be a zombie.

MM: did I not say there is also recovery for such deportment?
Me: I’ll take your word for it…I guess.

MM: don’t take my word for it, it is can be a symptom of anxiety, depression, to name
but a few, even part of aging or dementia may have outbursts of anger and

even pre/postmenopausal, hormonal based, burnout, and past childhood issues and/or abuse
that have been hidden for many many years…then it can resurface in rations
of sudden rages…It can be quite disconcerting.
Me: what happens to children who are exposed to such outbursts?

MM: a form of explanation but not a justification
one must still acknowledge one’s problems, failings, limits.

Me: I guess that makes sense.
It sure takes a lot to finally  acquiesce.
MM: Yes, it does….it does indeed.

Me: I really enjoyed this little talk, thank you.
MM: You’re welcome, I speak only what is true.

© Cheryl-Lynn, Stop the Stigma, 1/24/2014

Photo credits: Brimo Anger

A prompt on Anger Management from Dungeon Prompt Seekers 
This week’s prompt is: Anger Management (running from January 23 – January 29)

“Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

– Aristotle

“In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.”

– Buddha

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

– Ambrose Bierce

“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.”

– James Russell Lowell

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Author:

A little bit about moi: I am a mom, a nana, a sister, a woman, a friend, a human being…a youth counsellor, Family Life Educator. I have been working in the helping profession for over 25 years and volunteered in various capacities from youths to seniors. Tournesol is my nom de plume for haiku and other Japanese form poetry here at Tournesoldansunjardin http://cheryllynnroberts.wordpress.com I hope you enjoy reading through my daily waka. I also have another blog "Stop the Stigma" where I may stand on my soapbox now and then and hope it will become a place to drop in and share or comment on issues important to you. In that vein this could be a great way to learn from each other. http://stigmahursteveryone.wordpress.com Namaste!

17 thoughts on “A conversation about anger

      1. Oh that’s a good one. I do talk to my dog. My girl thinks that is weird too but OH well. I have reasoned out a lot of things with myself. Hehe. Have a good work day today friend. The weekends are far too short I believe! Hugs to you!

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      2. I don’t hve my pooch anymore but me and Bette, my cat and I have conversations as well. Thank goodness, since I do live alone. Hugs right back at ya xx

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  1. Wow, Cheryl, love this.
    The anger that is justified to effect needed change my mum always called ‘righteous indignation’. Sometimes it’s needed. Great overview. Think I’ll be having a word with my MiniMe. See what I can learn. It’s been a while. 😉 x

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    1. Yes, on my other blog I call her my inner voice, so I had to choose Mini Me:) It was fun…like writing what I’m thinking. I think we sometimes mistake assertiveness with anger…you don’t have to get angry to assert but for someone who has been passive and walked on for so long, it comes out angry until they get the hang of it. I used to warn clients when giving assertiveness training…warn your loved ones, cos you may inadvertently bite their heads off. hehe

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    1. Thank you, it was fun and it was a conversation I was having with myself. I decided to not complicate this exercise…a little peak in my inner conversations.

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