Serendipity seems to be a word I keep saying this past week. I read a blog post about rage and accepting our dark side at ButterflySand and it spoke to me. I also noticed that there is a week I had not noticed or read many responses to a prompt from The Seeker’s Dungeon on Secrets. I am reading one after the other now and have to stop at some point for I am humbled at how some writers are truly reflecting on their personal “self”. I usually delve into the “moi” on DungeonPrompts but that particular week I wrote about holding other people’s secrets including their pain, rage, suffering. Maybe I was playing it safe that week… Many other writers responded by reflecting on their personal “selves”.
One in particular made me think A LOT. I felt like I had added that zoom lenses on my old Pentax 35mm camera and turned it within. Like my old camera that needs refurbishing (it was after all purchased in 1977 and last used in 1997) the pictures are foggy, hard to discern what is what. I am looking, and humbled by some of the various facets of “my” secrets I do hold. I had guarded them for so long to protect my identity I think. Don’t we all have secrets of childhood that we would shrivel to oblivion if someone knew? Come on! It is not only what was done to us for those are secrets we may or may not share for different reasons. Some of us go through therapy and process some of this. But what about our deepest thoughts that only a few select may take the time to go into psychoanalysis (who can afford that?!) and look at our darkest side, the most outrageous, the most hideous, the most shameful. (and according to whose values?)
This particular post by Dave Kester on Secrets really bothered me …I mean got under my skin and darn it! I feel like I have my head turned within pondering, self-reflecting and trying to sort out some of these hidden secrets that are covered in dust and cobwebs. Oh, I knew they existed alright! Just didn’t feel like cleaning that particular closet this Spring. But after reading Dave Kester’s humbling and transparent post, it felt like a light went on in that walk in closet and it’s not as scary as I thought, humbling, OH yes! But not so scary. Take your time to read his post. You won’t regret it!
This week’s DungeonPrompt is SECRETS.
My first reaction to this prompt was to not do it. The word secrets brings up shame from my past. But I have a commitment to blog and so I turned toward my fear and let go my anxiety about it. After releasing my anxiety I realized I hadn’t updated my perception of myself. You see…
In my childhood there were all kinds of secrets. Secrets I kept from my grandmother about the things I did at my house during the week. Secrets I kept from my mom so I wouldn’t get in trouble. Secrets I kept from everyone because I was scared that they would be angry at me. But the darkest were the secrets I kept from myself. The secret that I wasn’t really safe in the world…
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