Posted in Chronic Pain, Lazy reflective afternoon, Stigma Talks

Lazy ramblings

Chillaxing on my day off
Chillaxing on my day off

Ramblings on a Friday afternoon on the silly things people say sometimes and things that are going through my mind.  Sometimes there IS a storm in that brain of mine and rambling calms it down.

A few thoughts on entitlement:

I keep thinking this for the past few weeks, so decided to write it out to get it out of my head . I never promised you a rose garden, HELLO! I can’t even dig up a rock garden.

After all I did for *****, you do this to me? Oh Really?! Who asked you to? If you want to give to someone, do it unconditionally. That makes the service/gift priceless.  And guess what? It will be returned twofold but not necessarily from the recipient. Love means being open…you know…that thing that goes thump thump. That’s your heart, open it up like a child does and just see what comes…no expectations…that’s cheating…just open and see. You will be pleasantly surprised.

Stop dwelling on the past and on what you should, ought to, deserve to…and turn that head around because it is hurting your neck. I think that is where the expression “pain in the neck” may have come from.  I’m too lazy to check that out because it is my first day off of my weekend. So call me lazy already.

That ship has sailed {sighs with puppy dog eyes}  NO, it hasn’t. Haven’t you heard YOU are in charge of scheduling that boat!! Get off your butt and do something about it!  There are all sorts of excursions you now, cruises, schooners, catamarans, canoes, kayaks…shift your focus on what you would want and why. You might be pleasantly surprised to see the journey has many paths…just get on ONE.

Speaking of pain…I had Chronic Pain on my mind today after reading some great posts from respected bloggers I read such as Finding My Inner Courage and  It’s a lonely Place  ; and The Invisible Affliction is a post that I felt was reading my mind.  It felt very very freaky, I have to admit!   So that stirred up thoughts in that little brain of mine.

Chronic pain is so misunderstood…millions suffer each day at various intensities of pain and for various reasons.

– Does it help to put a diagnosis to it for folks to have a bit more compassion?

– Would you believe it more if a person said they had permanent damage from a terrible accident?

– Would it make more sense according to YOU for someone to say, “it hurts” if you have some proof?

– Do you wince and feel compassion when you see someone walking with crutches, sitting in a wheel chair, walking with a cane or a walker? 

– Just where do you draw the line and turn off that mind and heart that feels for someone who says they suffer chronic pain? 

Oh and what about women who have terrible menstrual pain (yes I actually said that out loud…grow up!) I remember a friend telling me when I was a teen that girls who complain about those cramps are females who do not accept being a woman and what that involves.  Right!  I remember feeling guilty for being bed ridden a day or two in high school writing with pain after that comment. Yet, Mother Superior called my mom seeming to understand my pain. How come this “friend” did not? So glad she never had children…boy oh boy, child labour would have killed her…no, perhaps it would have humbled her. 

That reminds me when I was in labour for my daughter (2nd child), I was induced and hooked up to a monitor.  A nurse pops in while I was having  a contraction; after a minute passes she says, “Okay, you can stop the breathing, the contraction is over, it’s well over a minute.” To which I ignore her comment and continue to breathe until it is over one minute later. {This was my second birth, I sort of knew what a contraction felt like and when it no longer was there!}   My husband raises one eyebrow, gives her “the look” and points to the monitor, to which nurse know-it-all gasps “Well, it didn’t look like she was in that much pain.”  Oh boy {palm to forehead…ouch!}

My first encounter with unexplained pain was at 14 years old,  suffering migraines. The chronic headaches lasted a good 10 years and restarted after menopause. Well, at least there was a pause. That too is misunderstood but not as much as other forms of chronic pain. If it is not visible on your body it is hard to understand. Heck, even doctors get so frustrated, they sometimes just say, “Deal with it.”  And yes, I have heard that.

I also get the comeback, “Well, insurance companies do not recognize this particular diagnosis.” And that should mean to shut the books and throw them away.  Why yes, of course, insurance companies are there to soothe, comfort…strive to heal…ahahahaha…that is a cute joke with tongue in cheek. Insurance companies are there to make money. If they were not they would not be in business. Get real!  So if doctors are scratching and shaking their heads, disagreeing among so many medical professionals, of course the insurance companies are going to take the easy road. Insurance companies are like the teen who asks Mom and Dad to stay over at Johnny’s for the weekend and assures them there will be parental supervision…Mom says okay because she’s  had a chance to chat with Johnny’s mom at school committees. Dad says no way, you can never trust teens with sleep overs.  The insurance company is the Dad in this case.

If you are interested in reading a bit more about this subject, click here.  If  you are interested in attending a support group on Chronic Pain in Canada, check out here.  Talking about it, sharing with others sometimes helps a lot! Here is an opportunity to make a difference at Share your pain, is  part of The Arthritis Society of Canada.

If you have more resources to suggest or have something on your mind…that’s what the “comment” section is for. Have a great weekend …it will be for me as it is my birthday weekend. {grins}  No matter how old I get, I am always a baby when it comes to my birthday. Here is a glimpse of what pain feels like…LOOK and SEE the pain.

And last but not least, I have a page here with a small list of resources related to mental and physical health. The Red links relate to physical pain, the Blue links to emotional pain.

Thanks for reading through my ramblings.

© Cheryl-Lynn 2014/03/07



A little bit about moi: I am a mom, a nana, a sister, a woman, a friend, a human being…a youth counsellor, Family Life Educator. I have been working in the helping profession for over 25 years and volunteered in various capacities from youths to seniors. Tournesol is my nom de plume for haiku and other Japanese form poetry here at Tournesoldansunjardin I hope you enjoy reading through my daily waka. I also have another blog "Stop the Stigma" where I may stand on my soapbox now and then and hope it will become a place to drop in and share or comment on issues important to you. In that vein this could be a great way to learn from each other. Namaste!

8 thoughts on “Lazy ramblings

  1. My wife suffers from chronic pain due to her having muscular dystrophy. There are days she can’t do anything and days she just doesn’t have the drive. It’s a difficult life at best.


    1. I`m so sorry to read this, Kev. It must be so hard for your wife and for you to see someone you love suffer. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.


      1. Thanks Cheryl, it used to be worse, but she had a couple of ops which have relieved a lot of it, but it’s inevitable that she still has some and there isn’t much more they can do now. But, at least they have tried and have offset it somewhat. 🙂


  2. Kudos to you for your honesty,strengt and the inspiration ypu give to uss readers. Thank you so much. Absolutely great post.
    My week’s been very tough. And this post gaved me strengt to keep my guts going.


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